


Goodbye.

by TK_Extraordinaire



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Character Death, Depressed Magnus Bane, Hurt Magnus Bane, Hurt No Comfort, I hate myself, Immortal Magnus Bane, Like everyone dies, Magnus Bane-centric, Multi, Seriously major trigger warnings, but like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 10:15:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20619374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TK_Extraordinaire/pseuds/TK_Extraordinaire
Summary: He wasn't ready to say goodbye.Why did he have to say goodbye?





	Goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> Let's just pretend I'm not posting this on Alec's birthday.
> 
> I hate myself for writing this.
> 
> Read the tags.
> 
> Sorry...

The day Clary died, Magnus lost a dear friend, one of the first children he’d gotten to see grow up.

The day Clary died, Alec lost a good friend, Izzy lost her best friend, Simon lost his parabatai, and Jace lost the love of his life.

The day Clary died, was a sharp stab of reality. A humbling reminder of the mortality of the people Magnus loves.

* * *

The day Izzy dies, Jace and Alec find comfort in each other mourning their beloved sister.

An inconsolable Simon finds comfort in Magnus.

Magnus doesn’t know what to do.

* * *

The day Alec dies, his darling Alexander, it breaks him.

The day Alec dies, he’s brought to reality with Jace’s pained screams and wails. After that, everything becomes a blur.

He stood, staring at the body for hours until he was vaguely aware of Max and Rafael attempting to lead him away. He remembers lashing out at them with everything he has left. Because, how could they? How could they expect him to leave the love of his life- his Alexander?

He only remembers Max, Catarina, Tessa, and Lorenzo all working together to subdue him because he felt the after-effects of it later on.

He’s felt grief before, but not like this, never like this. It’s like something is destroying him from the inside out the same time something is repairing his wounds, leaving him fresh to be destroyed all over again. He’ll manage to dry his tears for a couple of minutes before something, really anything will remind him of Alec and the waterworks will start all over again.

Eventually, after he’s all cried out, Max and Rafael join him, lying down on either side of Magnus and wrapping their arms around him.

They don’t move for a long time.

* * *

He wasn't ready to say goodbye.

Why did he have to say goodbye?

* * *

The day Alec died, the Clave mourned the loss of its consul and a beloved hero.

The downworld mourned the loss of the shadowhunter who changed everything for them.

Young Nephilim lost their hero.

His sons lost their father.

The day Alec died, Magnus lost everything.

* * *

Magnus isn’t there the day Simon dies. He’s holed up in his loft, liquor on his lips.

* * *

The day Jace died, passes in a haze, the grief of losing everyone else still sharp in his chest.

Who would’ve thought the most reckless of them all would end up being the last one standing in the group.

* * *

The day Rafael died, Magnus left. He left and didn’t turn back.

* * *

On the fiftieth anniversary of Alexander’s death, Magnus returns.

The loft is covered in a thin layer of dust that Magnus banishes with a snap of his fingers. He mixes himself a drink that’s probably a little too strong but very much needed. Everything is how he left it, how Alec left it.

The now-vintage bow is resting by the doorway, some of his favourite books are on the shelves, even his hoodies are still in the wardrobe.

Magnus chokes back a sob as he breathes the familiar scent in, thanking the gods that he had the sense to place a preservation spell on all of Alec’s belongings.

Guiltily, he pulls on one of Alec’s hoodies, curling onto their bed. He twirls his wedding ring that hangs on a chain around his neck. He resolves, that no matter what, he’s going to come back here at least once every year. No matter how painful it may be.

* * *

On the fifty-first anniversary of Alec’s death, Magnus goes through his box of mementos.

With a bitter laugh, he remembers their argument about it. Alec was worried he was going to end up just another arrowhead in his box. Well, Alec didn’t just get a place in his box, but a whole damn monument.

* * *

On the fifty-fifth anniversary of Rafael’s death, Magnus reaches out to Max.

He hasn’t seen him since Rafael’s rite of mourning when he packed up and left without a word.

Max is hesitant. Magnus doesn’t blame him. But when he does finally manage to coax him back to the warded loft, his baby blueberry rushes into his arms.

“_I missed you, Papa_.”

* * *

Sixty years after Alec’s death, the Lightwood family ring is returned to him. 

The Clave was desperate for his services.

It joins his wedding ring.

* * *

Eighty-eight years after Alexander died, Magnus returns to the institute.

Between the new technology and the renovations they did almost fifty years ago, the place is almost unrecognizable.

There’s a photo of Alec and Rafael on the wall.

It’s like they died yesterday.

* * *

One hundred and eleven years after Alec’s death, Magnus meets another Lightwood. A boy, no more than fifteen. He’s got the same startling blue eyes and shock of black hair. There’s an arrow aimed at his chest as he’s interrogated, with startling intensity, about why he has the boy’s long lost family ring.

The boy's name is Alex.

* * *

One hundred and twenty years after Alexander dies, Magnus finds someone new. He fights it at first, but when he finally does give in, it’s not so bad. It’s nice having someone to come home to again. She’s nothing like Alec, Magnus is certain that no one will ever measure up to him, but it’s still nice.

Most importantly, she doesn’t push for details when Magnus disappears four times a year; once for Rafael’s birthday, once the anniversary of his wedding day, Alec’s birthday, and Alec’s death.

Sometimes, the grief will fade to nothing, while others it’ll be a knife to the gut. Like it happened yesterday.

They part ways after nearly a decade. But it was nice.

Alexander would be proud.

* * *

One hundred and thirty-two years after Alec died, Max gets another sibling.

Hope.

Magnus found the four-year-old on the street. Her hood was drawn up to hide her cat ears.

* * *

One hundred and forty years after Alec died, Magnus tells Hope of the Shadowhunter who stole his heart.

* * *

One hundred and fifty-eight years after Alec died, Magnus was in a battle.

One hundred and fifty-eight years after Alec died, Magnus finally followed.

* * *

On the day Magnus died, the Clave lost a powerful asset.

The downworld lost an extraordinary leader.

Young downworlders lost someone who was always there for them.

On the day Magnus died, downworlders across the globe mourned the loss of their friend.

Max and Hope mourned the loss of their father.

On the day Magnus died, he was happy. 

On the day Magnus died, he got to see Alec.

*

The day before Alec died, they laid in bed, wrapped around each other, whispering sweet nothings against each other's skin. But they meant everything.

_“I love you.”_

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to ask for no mean comments? (Not that people comment anyways) I'm new to fan fiction and I've seen people get bashed pretty badly for writing stuff like this. This is my way of expressing myself. Sorry.


End file.
